Holy Discontent
I’ve been writing for The Cultivating Project, a quarterly online magazine, for several years. Our publisher called a halt to our Winter edition and urged each of us to look into our hearts and see what is yearning there for attention and care. What is aching with unfulfillment and incompletion? What is asking to be named? What is asking to be paid attention to and served? What requires "Yes" and what requires "No" or "Not now”? What is causing a deep unsettledness in our spirits?
I’ve wrestled with her exhortation for weeks now. What has continued to rise to the surface of my heart is a deep dissatisfaction with what seems like ineffective prayer. I’ve been part of the Church since birth; I’ve been to seminary; I’ve been a pastor’s wife; and still, I am discontent with so many unanswered “good” prayers, prayers which you’d think would move God’s heart.
And Jesus answered and said to them, “Truly I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what was done to the fig tree, but even if you say to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and cast into the sea,’ it will happen. And all things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive.” Matthew 21:21-22
Is anyone among you sick? Then he must call for the elders of the church and they are to pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord; and the prayer offered in faith will restore the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up, and if he has committed sins, they will be forgiven him. James 5:14-15
My prayer has been Lord, begin with me. Convict me of any unbelief, of becoming jaded with over intellectualizing my problems. Forgive me for harboring a critical spirit.
In meditating on the New Testament church, former revivals, and giants in the faith I long to see the dead rise, the sick healed, the demonic set free, and the lame walk. I want to see the lost fall on their faces in repentance. I want to see my children encounter the Cross. I was raised in a Spirit-filled home and have witnessed outright miracles, but as I’ve aged they seem further and further apart. Where is the powerful prayer of the New Testament believers? When was the last time we saw mountains cast into the sea? Hurricanes stopped, cities transformed, cancer eradicated?
And He could do no miracle there except that He laid His hands on a few sick people and healed them. And He wondered at their unbelief. And He was going around the villages teaching. Mark 6:5-6
My prayer has been Lord, begin with me. Convict me of any unbelief, of becoming jaded with over intellectualizing my problems. Forgive me for harboring a critical spirit.
James 5:16 declares that the effectual fervent prayer of a righteousness man availeth much. What makes my prayers both effectual and fervent? What defines righteousness to the degree my prayers are this effective? A doctrine not much engaged any more is Sanctification. Following being Baptized in the Holy Spirit saints were lead into a second work of grace and would “pray through” to sanctification. In our modern culture of online everything, media bombardment and a barrage of distractions it seems impossible to remove oneself to the degree needed to truly Be Still and Know.
I am reminded Hebrews 4:12 declares, "the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.”
As I seek the Lord for answers I call out the Word of God by faith over every line item in my prayer list. I praise, I thank, I release Everything knowing that Jehovah works all things together for my good and His glory. Eight years ago I was diagnosed with MS. What could have been a tragedy has been an extraordinary blessing. Despite countless prayers for complete healing, God has given me grace upon grace to eat a naturopathic diet which enables me to be drug free, to lean in on God for so much, and for giving me a testimony of favor and grace. Praise His name forever. And yes, I do believe the day will come when I will be completely healed.
As you fast and pray, what is stirring you to a holy discontent? Ask the Holy Spirit to speak: what is yearning for your attention and care in the Kingdom of God? What is causing a deep unsettledness in your spirit, too?